Monday, November 9, 2009

Word of the Weekend: ASSHOLE!

I have come to the conclusion that all men are created ASSHOLES! When someone asks if you have a boyfriend and you say you are engaged, the next statement should NOT be "let's go out to the parking lot for 4 mins, he'll never know"....asshole...especially if you're significant other is there with you! Asshole!

Elizabeth interjection - and I wanna know why 4 minutes in a parking lot would be impressive? seriously? 4 minutes? What the fuck?? and dude, I know I'm friendly and might smile, laugh, flirt, but I'm up front with the fact I'm definitely taken and happily taken. I have no problem talking to anyone but dudes of the world, take a fuckin' hint and if a woman is repeating things or saying, um no, not interested...she's not interested. You are not the studs that you think you are...I agree asshole

On another ASSHOLE note...sometimes Google is an asshole. Went to the movies with my BFE Elizabeth on Sunday morning (our church) and watched The Fourth Kind...great movie! Then Elizabeth being the learner she is...goes home to google something and found some stuff you really shouldn't know! And I'm not gonna say more because quite frankly it might ruin the movie for the 2 people that read our blog and I don't want to be an ASSHOLE!

Elizabeth interjection - Blah blah blah blah blah grrrrrrr

Asshole point #3: married men that want to live vicariously through their significant others friends...2 texts this weekend from married men.."I'm alone got time for me?" or "I'm bored, can you come get me outta here?" ASSHOLES!!!!!

Elizabeth interjection - major assholes...and I want to kick their idiot married asses...seriously...dudes if you have a fuckin' problem with the woman you have married and aren't fuckin' happy then fuckin' leave, don't look for ways to "supplement" your relationships...whatever grow some fucking balls and get some fucking sense damn it.

But on a fun, awesome, great, ecstatic, woo-hoo note....we regained our title of Champs in Name that Tune! (not impressive?) It's so much fun! My favorite part was when the DJ (Tommy) gave our team a Bruce Springsteen song...(see backstory below) and we died laughing!

backstory: Tommy is in a band: Motor City Acoustic Trio, I wanted them to play Bother by Stone Sour, he said no because they sound like they are pooping when they sing...and this goes for every other song I request...Now, when Elizabeth and I were coming home from the Wings game on Thurs...we heard Bruce Springsteen on the radio and immediately thought of Tommy and remembered this for Friday night to tell him that Bruce is the ultimate poooper singer! and wouldn't you know it (asshole) says no he doesn't sound like that and he's the greatest sing/songwriter ever!!! so....go back to above with the Bruce Springsteen song..needless to say, i think I might have peed a little. Thank god for pantyliners! LOL!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Who wouldn't want Electric Boobs?

After rewriting Bennie and the Jets...we had a brainstorming session about the advantages of electric boobs. Here are just a few fun features that electric boobs could possibly bring.

1. In the winter, it's cold out...just a touch of a button instant warmth.

2. In the summer, it's hot out...same as above...touch of a button instant cool.

3. Too dark? No problem flick of a switch and really turn on the headlights!!

4. Inappropriate groping, the special taser feature!

5. Need a guy's attention at the bar. Tit-Traction beam!

6. Dress, bra, shirt, whatever doesn't fit right, auto adjust mechanism!

Come on people, electric boobs would be the shiznit! Feel free to add your own ideas!!!